Tag Archives: GSD

Just because…

So I am back to all the normal routines: getting up, walking the dog, eating, working, walking the dog, catching up on all sorts at home, sleeping, getting up, walking the dog… Just because Summer School is over, does that mean I should go silent on this blogging thing again? No, you aren’t going to silence me that easily!

Something has changed. I have renewed energy and motivation and even vision. Client work this week has taken on a fresh feel. I have a ‘special offer’ for the summer months of up to 6 weeks counselling at half the usual price. That has drawn some new work. I will offer the same from September to Christmas for GSD (gender and sexual diversity) clients, in order to gain some experience in that field. As I always say, there is only one way to get experience. I feel I have begun to find my voice too. Writing each day last week provoked me into deeper reflection. I’m still not sure what I have to say, so please bear with me while I discover.

A couple of months ago I began to ask myself (and others) what sex is for. I mentioned that last week on this blog. For so many years it was all so clear to me… sex (and by sex I mean intimate sexual behaviour between two consenting adults) was a particular kind of intimacy reserved for one particular relationship, and no other. At best it was something for two people who had made a life commitment to each other, and nobody else. Perhaps deep down I still think that is the best. However, that is not how 95% of people see things, and something has shifted deep down inside me. I don’t any longer want to be someone who tells others what they should and shouldn’t be doing. That is for them to decide. I do want to be someone who listens and helps others live life to the full. I want to hear how others do life, and enjoy the diversity and variety that is this world rather than be the thought police. In that sense being sexual  can mean whatever anyone wants it to mean.

Some of you might not agree. Some of you may be saying ‘hallelujah’, ‘at last’!

I guess too I am looking at this almost from the outside. Being asexual gives me a different perspective. I hear what others say rather than experience it first hand. I imagine, and observe, and see the enormous variety in meanings that people make for themselves. I am in awe of the richness of it all.

I am on a journey. Perhaps I should rename this blog ‘talkingaboutthejourney’? No, it is what it is. I am who I am. You are who you are. To remain unchanged is to be dead.

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Summer School Day 5

Well, the course is finished. What a week! The diversity within the group of life experience and of background and personality added to rather than strained the dynamic. We were all able to listen to each other and so no-one felt constrained to shout over any group consensus to make their individual voice heard.

The morning was given to an experiential exercise of listening to our internal ‘wisdoms’; that of our mind, our heart and our gut. All three give us different but important information and we ignore them to our detriment. None should be excluded.

We then followed a practical presentation on responding to requests from clients to change their sexual orientation. We considered this from the perspective of the client’s discomfort at their dilemmas, but also the ethical requirements to ‘first do no harm’. We looked at ‘reparative’ and ‘conversion’ therapies that have been rejected as unethical in their treatment methods, and explored alternatives, trying to stay within the client’s agenda while taking account of all aspects of their inner conflict.

The final afternoon was mostly about self-care as therapists working in with GSD clients, and our needs for continued professional development and supervision with those also working in this field. We completed the inevitable course feedback forms. and thanked each other and the tutors.

We ended well, with a fabulous meal together in a gay restaurant in the middle of Soho. The food was great, and the atmosphere fun. To all of you who made it possible for me to be here, please know that not only am I grateful to you for your generosity, but I hope my future clients will also be grateful without knowing it. You are investing in them as well as me. Thank you for believing in me and valuing them!

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